“Willpower is one of the most important predictors of success in life”

Willpower is the ability to overcome complacency and procrastination.  It is the ability to control or reject unnecessary or harmful impulses.  It is the ability to arrive at a decision and follow it with perseverance until its successful accomplishment.  It is the inner power that overcomes the desire to indulge in unnecessary and useless habits, and the inner strength that overcomes inner emotional and mental resistance for taking action.  It is one of the cornerstones of success, both spiritual and material.

We need to restrain our impulses, resist temptation – do what’s right and good for us in the long run, not what we want to do right now!

Case in point: In the 1960’s a sociologist called Walter Mischel was interested in how young children resisted instant gratification.  He offered them the choice of a marshmallow now, or two if they could wait for two minutes.  Years later he tracked some of the kids down and made a startling discovery.

Mischel’s findings have recently been confirmed by a remarkable long term study in New Zealand, which concluded in 2010. For 32 years, starting at birth, a team of international researches tracked 1,000 people, rating their observed and reported self-control and willpower in different ways.

What they found was that, even after taking into account differences of intelligence, race and social class, those with high self-control – those who, in Mischel’s experiment, held out for two marshmallows later – grew into healthier, happier and wealthier adults.

Those with low willpower, the study discovered, fared less well academically.  They were more likely to be in low paying jobs with few savings, to be overweight, to have drug or alcohol problems and to have difficulty maintaining stable relationships [many were single parents].

This case study further enlightens us to be very cognizant of our decisions in life.  We need to draw from our inner strength and exercise restraint in areas of our life that are not growing healthily.  Build your own self control by exercising it regularly in small ways.  Learn to recognize signs that your willpower may be waning.

Don’t crash diet –develop a new lifestyle of healthy eating! Don’t try to do too much at once – set realistic goals.  Establish good habits and routines that will take the strain off your willpower.  Learn how to draw up an effective To Do List.  Don’t put yourself in temptation’s way, and if you find yourself hard to avoid it, make it harder for you to give in.  Use your willpower actively: PLAN, COMMIT and DO!

Ultimate willpower was exhibited by Jesus Christ  [Luke 22:42]  : “ Father, if it is Your will, remove this cup from Me; nevertheless,  not My will, but Yours be done”   My experience has been to draw  strength from His spirit within  me!  Remember, with His strength you will experience success in exercising healthy willpower.  Seek to do those things that build a good character and you will have a  higher probability of success in life.

How is your willpower?

Can you run the race to completion; complete an important task or specific life goal?  What I find is that life is a series of uncompleted tasks.  We should have more completions than half baked attempts.  We usually associate endurance with sporting events, aerobics and physical training. However, it has a much broader life application.  I relate this term to my grandson who is the best example I know of endurance.

With his leukemia diagnosis, the required treatments are not a cake walk.  At the age of five, with two and ½ more years of treatment, he exhibits unbelievable courage, strength and resilience as he fights every day for his life.  His goal is to live!  We, who are most fortunate to have our health, coast along all too often exhibiting an undisciplined life.  Check yourself against the following and see what your level of “endurance” is:

Have I stopped bad habits that negatively impact my health?

• Am I goal focused when it comes to my weight?
• Have I given my best in my profession and/or the company I work for?
• In dealing with pain and loss, I am seeking professional help to guide me in recovery?
• Do I have the stamina to “maintain” the accomplishment or level of excellence I have achieved?
• In times of uncertainty, do I draw from my support network and spiritual resources or do I just retreat?
• Am I moving forward in achieving emotional balance and peace in my life regardless of life circumstances?

These questions are good check points for each of us to ask ourselves frequently.  The more we endure, the stronger we become!!

“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize?  Run in such a way as to get the prize.”  1 Corinthians 9:24

“Let us not say, Every man is the architect of his own fortune; but let us say, Every man is the architect of his own character.”

George Dana Boardman

 We are developing our character every day – formally and informal.  Our daily life is the platform on which we build our character traits.  These traits can be positive or negative.  I defer to those actions on our part that build strong, long standing ethically based character traits that will last a lifetime. If we let our environment and people around us be instrumental in that process, we negate the powerful impact of our ability to be the change agent and sustaining force in our lives to “maintain” the character we most desire!

We must emphasize good character awareness. Read stories of men and women who positively impacted the lives of many people – for the good!  Practice responsibility, truthfulness and compassion in your life.  Participate in training opportunities that instill, enhance, and encourage continued personal development.  The more you think in terms of good character qualities and surround yourself with persons  who emulate those qualities, the easier it becomes to make those qualities a part of your life.

Raise the standards of good character and lower the acceptance of bad behavior! Be cognizant of your attitudes, words and actions.  Remember, once you have said or acted upon a bad character trait, you cannot get it back.  The impression is lasting and it is difficult to change a negative perception.  Think before your speak or act.  How will this impact the other person or group?  Was I grateful?  I am responsible?  Remember, you have the power to control your attitude, words and actions!

Acknowledge the good character traits.  We love to be recognized — in a good way.  Develop a habit of recognizing and praising good behavior.  If someone does a good job – tell them. If a friend or an employee goes the extra mile, thank them and reward them.  When you personally exhibit acts of kindness and benevolence, tell yourself  how great that was!   Positive self talk is good!  We need all the positive messages we can create and deliver in a world of negativity!

Significant benefits derived from good character:

•  Helps individuals reach their full potential – in knowledge, skills and accomplishments
• Enhances self-acceptance, self-confidence and self satisfaction
• Increases productivity and accomplishments
• Improves relationships
• Benefits and encourages others
• Contributes to success

I am perplexed with all of the political rhetoric we hear.  Especially during an election cycle where we are constantly bombarded by the media during the political primaries; only to realize that it will not be over until the November elections.  What I find deficient in a particular political party – The Republican Party – is a sever lack of integrity on the part of those individuals seeking to be the party’s choice candidate to run against President Obama.

Integrity is a life principal to be cherished and practiced in our daily living. Politicians have set a poor example!  Surely these individuals are not reflective of the caring American citizens who labor daily to make a living, provide for their families, have a faith and strong since of community and values!

In an article titled “Standing for Something” by Cheshire Calhoun in the 1995 Journal of Philosophy, Ms. Calhoun argues that integrity is primarily a social virtue, one that is defined by a person’s relationship to others…they stand for something: they stand up for their best judgment within a community of people trying to discover what in life is worth doing.  As she puts it:

“Persons of integrity treat their own endorsements as ones that matter; or ought to matter, to fellow deliberators.  Absent a special sort of story, lying about one’s views, concealing them, recanting them under pressure, selling them out for rewards or to avoid penalties, and pandering to what one regards as the bad views of others, all indicate a failure to regard one’s own judgment as one that should matter to others”

Having integrity also demands that while we stand firm on the mantel of integrity – what we truly believe in –we must have proper respect for the judgment of others!

As Americans we deserve better in our political process.  Integrity must not be compromised.  Having said that, individually we need to live a life that has meaning and purpose for ourselves and others –we must have Integrity!

Ever had the ongoing frustrating experience of something going wrong in your life?  Maybe you are now or have recently had a problem with your vehicle.  You take it in for service and find out from the service technician that additional work is needed as a result of their inspection.  You need new brakes, transmission is leaking and you need to make some major repairs, car out of alignment, etc.  All of a sudden a small leak turns into a $1,200 bill.  Here is a pattern of dialogue for the unexpected events that will happen at some point in our lives, with solutions:

1. We always ask “Why” in a moment of anger and unbelief. Why did this have to happen now?  The last thing I need is this expense.  But I need the car in order to work.  I have no choice but to accept this event and work within my means to resolve it!  It’s not about you; it’s about how you are reacting to the event.
2. We second guess ourselves.  “Why did I buy this in the first place?  It cost so much to maintain!”  Fact:  Car’s do not last forever, and they do need some work, especially as they approach 80,000 miles plus!  It’s part of the “cost” of owning a vehicle. Only problem, with labor cost and inflation impacting the cost of parts, it is an expensive reality. Maintaining a home is just as expensive, if not more!
3.  We ask the “How” question. How am I going to pay for this?  Here is where “the rubber meets the road.”  Do you have an emergency fund?  If not, you need to start one NOW!  I cannot overemphasize this fact.   Consistently put money aside specifically for emergencies. [NOTE:  This provision is to be separate from a  health savings account if you have one]  DO NOT; pull money out of an IRA—tax implications plus potential early withdrawal penalties may apply.  If you borrow from you 401K and find yourself being out placed by your employer, the loan will be paid from proceeds from your 401K –so there goes a portion of your retirement!
4. We begin the process of working through it. The unexpected is never pleasant. It demands that we plan and make provision for events that will occur in our lives that will cost us over and above our immediate availability of cash. I would discourage charging the expense on a credit card or getting a loan.  That just increases your debt and impacts your ongoing cash flow.  Our “new normal” economy demands that we plan and develop a pay as you go mentality; foregoing the previous use –and in some cases abuse – of credit.
5. We take additional action as needed. If you absolutely have to charge your credit card or get a loan for a portion of the expense – after you have used your emergency fund -, make sure you pay it off promptly –the sooner the better.  Make adjustments in some of your discretionary expenditures so that it is paid off sooner than later. Begin replenishing the emergency fund immediately on a monthly basis as you did previously.
6. Accept the fact that things are just going to happen in our lives that are out of our control and make provision for them.

Planning for the unexpected is a REQUIRED discipline in the “new normal” economy!  Make sure you are making provision financially for those events!

Today  we reflect on the events of this year and again realize that through adversity, moments of sadness and joy, success and failure, health and sickness, loss and gain, we have made it!  We are never promised tomorrow, but as we live in the present, we must take to heart what is our purpose for living.

Today, I  quote a scripture verse I read this morning  that  applies at this point:  “ Dear brothers, warn those who are lazy; comfort those who are frightened; take tender care of those who are weak; and be patient with everyone.  See that no one pays back evil for evil, but always try to do good to each other and to everyone else.  Always be joyful.  Always keep on praying.  No matter what happens, always be thankful, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus” 1 Thessalonians 5: 14-18.

Take time to be thankful.  Tell those you love and care about how important they are to you.  Expressions from a heart full of gratitude and thanksgiving will go a long way in making your life richer and this world a better place.

Peace and Grace to you during this season of the year!

“Somewhere along the line of development we discover what we really are, and then we make our real decision for which we are responsible. Make that decision primarily for yourself because you can never really live anyone else’s life.”

– Eleanor Roosevelt

To effect change in your life, you will have to make a decision.  So, why are you more indecisive than not?

Let’s look at what typically causes indecisiveness. Often the process starts when we bug ourselves about losing out on something that we think may make us happier or provide a need we perceive. However, when we act on our desire we sometimes experience “buyer’s remorse,” and we immediately regret the decision we made. Why so much cognitive whiplash?

Much of our worry about making decisions stems from our irrational—and impossible—need for certainty. Obviously, making a good decision is important, but when we escalate that preference into an ironclad need to always get it right, not only do we get indecisive, we also fret and worry about any decision we do make. Worse, we reverse decisions, and then worry about that!

Major causes of indecisiveness:

• We don’t know ourselves very well, we carry internal conflict on what I want vs. what the others want from me
• Sloppy thinking & too much emotion
• We don’t want to know the facts
• We  want a “guaranteed” solution

Life requires us to make decisions every day.  What we need to do is be aware of the above major causes for being indecisive and realize that getting the facts and not acting on emotion is the best course of action.  We need to less of React & Response to more Creative Thinking driven by living for a purpose!  Corporations spend millions in marketing to influence our decision making process.  For many of us, we just buy into the latest and greatest and not the BEST!  We let
others decide what is best for us – essentially we respond to what others want from us.  Being decisive is:

• Educating ourselves on our options
• Making realistic comparisons
• Understanding what we desire vs. what we really need
• Accepting the fact that nothing is a “guarantee”
• Circumstances change and we can always make changes.

Whether it’s losing weight, making a career change, planning your financial security, getting involved socially, improving your relationships – you will need to use creative thinking to make the best decisions. As the result of being indecisive, you place yourself in a rut and you do not make progress in your lifecycle.  You are not getting out of life what you desire! My I hope is that as a result of this blog you will decide to act in your best interest and not respond to what others want from you!  Being indecisive is a decision!  Where are you in this process?

“There is a tsunami of chronic preventable disease about to be unleashed into our medical-care system which is increasingly unaffordable”
Reed Tuckson, United Health Foundation

The sleeping giant is getting larger! While traveling this week, I found myself in a seat on my flight next to an obese lady with an overweight baby in her lap. Literally, I could NOT sit in my seat comfortably and even read. I had to ask the flight attendant to find me another seat. Luckily, the flight was not full and I was able to move. I am quite observant as I travel, and I see more and more individuals [adults & children], not just overweight, but obese and bulging!
It takes discipline and personal responsibility to manage ones weight —and personal health and welfare. One of my physicians told me about a year ago that we are facing a major impact on healthcare in the future if we as a county do not address the obesity problem. Unfortunately, it continues to get worse and the impact is increasing health insurance premiums – even for the healthy! In my research, I found the following facts:
• If Americans continue to pack on pounds, obesity will cost the USA about $344 billion in medical-related expenses by 2018, eating up about 21% of health-care spending, says the first analysis to estimate the future medical costs of excess weight.

• These calculations are based on the projection that in 10 years 43% of Americans adults may be obese, which is roughly 30 or more pounds over a healthy weight, if obesity continues to rise at the current rate. Extra weight increases the risk of diabetes, heart disease and many types of cancer.
Research has shown that as weight increases to reach the levels referred to as “overweight” and “obesity,” the risks for the following conditions also increase:

• Coronary heart disease
• Type 2 diabetes
• Cancers (endometrial, breast, and colon)
• Hypertension (high blood pressure)
• Dyslipidemia (for example, high total cholesterol or high levels of triglycerides)
• Stroke
• Liver and Gallbladder disease
• Sleep apnea and respiratory problems
• Osteoarthritis (a degeneration of cartilage and its underlying bone within a joint)
• Gynecological problems (abnormal menses, infertility)

Need I say more? If you are overweight or obese, please be kind to yourself and start the process of loving and caring for yourself. Get professional help. Find a program that will get you on the path to wellness. Do not take this lightly, it is a serious matter. As a father & grandfather and because I care about children, please watch your child’s diet and make sure that they do not follow in your footsteps if you are obese.

Please stop this insanity and take your health seriously. Push back from the table of food and consumption and move forward with a healthy lifestyle! Share this blog with  your friends and family members that struggle with their weight. Let’s make a difference and live a long healthy life!

“Vision helps us see the possibilities of tomorrow within the realities of today, and motivates us to do what needs to be done.”

Conform or be transformed.  What would be your choice?  If I conform, I give up my creative choice to think of the benefits to be obtained from the choices I have. Free will allows me to judge the merits of the decisions I make with the facts I have available to me.  If I just conform to what is expected of me, I set myself up for a “lack of personal identity!”   I only act, think and respond based on the expectations of others.  Where then is my true self? 

I recall a scripture text that states,” be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” This phrase relates to a person’s spiritual experience; however, it is powerfully applicable in everyday living.

How do I renew anything, much less my mind and thought process?  Renewing is becoming new again!  Renewing gives us a sense of vision; of what could be!  That means that I have the capacity to change based on the thoughts and desires of my existence that drive my actions. Why then do we settle for the expected rather than the exceptional?  I pose that question to myself all the time.  As a result, I am constantly renewing myself, processing new knowledge, reframing life experiences and building on meaningful relationships that add value to my life.  The process demands that I be completely honest with myself and the expectations that I set for myself.  When I do that, I find every day a refreshing challenge.  More creative and intuitive that the day before.  

Are you conforming or transforming?    I choose the continuum of transformation!

I just don’t have enough time!  Are you kidding me? Last time I checked we all get the same  allotment of time.   Busy is not better.Busy is just busy.  Caught up in a maze of technology?  Phone, iPad,iPod,  laptop, voice mail, television, Facebook, instant messaging, multiple ID’s and passwords are all a part of our lives which leaves very little focus on developing meaningful relationships.

We are technology tired – worn out. OurI minds are racing with multiple segments of data, our eyes are tired and we feel we have no personal space.  If you have children, that is an added burden along with managing a household and a budget. For the unemployed, there is the constant emotional journey of disappointment and dwindling self esteem. And then there are bills to pay, demands on your relationship and the lack of intimacy between persons that was once more meaningful.  Countless rhetoric of a recession and disappointment in institutions that we depend on –our education system and our totally dysfunctional government.  How’s your plan for retirement?   What retirement!  Geez, many have depleted their savings, 401K’s and other sources to just to survive.  Are you leveraged?  Owe more than you can ever pay off?  Most people are over extended.  How’s your waistline?  Have a weight problem?    Have I said enough?  What should we consider as a solution?

Here is what I suggest:

It’s time to evaluate our Life Plan [if you have one] and make some changes!  Change is difficult,  but if you want some peace in your life and live longer, there is no option.  Take an inventory of how you spend your time
and the choices you make.   Stop this madness.  YOU are the only person that can make this happen! Don’t let other people, institutions and external forces determine your destiny.   Deal with facts
not fantasy.  Stand on your own two feet and begin to do some healthy procrastination and make healthier choices.

What are your solutions for sanity in a world of chaos and  complexity?  Your comments are welcomed.  I for one have found that less is more in my life.  Quality not quantity counts.  People are more valuable than possessions.   I have more power than I once thought in managing my choices and uses of time.  How about you?